I had a long, rough day, a day that refused to end and a day that music couldn’t really fix. We all have days like that. Fortunately, a quick late-evening stop into the local Trader Joe’s provided me with a brief moment of levity–hearing the ridiculousness that was Kiss’ “Strutter ’78” over the piped-in music system.
Yes, that’s “Strutter ’78,” the glossed-up re-take on the classic song from Kiss’ debut album. Now, I’ve never been a big Kiss guy. I own “Alive!” and that’s pretty much it, and honestly I listen to it more for Paul Stanley’s hilarious stage banter than for the music these days. But “Strutter,” in its pure form, has always been one of my favorite Kiss tunes.
This ill-advised re-recording of “Strutter” immediately made me think of two people. My college buddy Sean, who hails from Forest Hills, Queens, was always a strong Kiss appreciator and had the “Double Platinum” collection for which the sexed-up “Strutter” was recorded (and where I first heard this nonsense). My pal Connor is without a doubt Portland’s Kiss expert, and I know he would be thrilled to know that people looking for second-rate asparagus (sorry Trader Joe’s, your dry goods are top-shelf but your produce section sucks) were rocking out to “Strutter ’78” on a single-digit Portland night, perhaps completely unaware that this wasn’t even the original “Strutter.”
Can anyone in town get a report from Whole Foods to see if they played Steve Winwood’s “Valerie ’87” tonight?